Embarrass Yourself To Grow Stronger
When getting embarrassed, we feel stupid or incompetent. And because we don't want to look silly in front of others, we try to avoid it at all costs. In the worst case, we develop fear and always ask ourselves what others might think of us.
Embarrassment is uncomfortable and clearly doesn't feel good. Nevertheless, it's part of human life and happens to everyone.
Luckily, there's a way we can use embarrassment to grow personally, gain more confidence, and reduce the fear of what others might think of us. After reading this article, you'll hopefully look with a different perspective on embarrassing situations and be ready to embarrass yourself on purpose from time to time.
What Is Embarrassment?
Let's quickly understand what embarrassment is. Embarrassment is a "self-conscious emotion" frequently associated with guilt, regret, or shame. The negative consequences of a person's thoughts and behavior can be tremendous, yet it has a social component. For example, many researchers believe that embarrassment serves as a form of feedback (internally or societally) to reduce a person's chances of repeating the behavior in question that is perceived as a mistake or deviates from social norms.
We can also consider embarrassment as a way our body tells us to learn something from our behavior. With such a perspective, embarrassment loses some negative association and moves to something positive and more beneficial. It becomes a vital tool for self-improvement and self-knowledge.
In other words, embarrassment is our body telling us with sensations like sweating or blushing that we should avoid or feel wrong about something. As social creatures, this makes total sense. Our ancestors couldn't risk not fitting into the group and getting abandoned. But when our fear of rejection leads to not living up to our potential, this mechanism becomes more of a burden.
And this is where we like to grow stronger and become more resilient. We want to build the self-confidence to act right even if we look stupid or leave social norms.
Why You Should Embarrass Yourself
While embarrassment definitely has its place and is an essential part of our social coexistence, we shouldn't care too much about other people's opinions about us.
According to the ancient Stoics, we can't control other people's thoughts or judgments; therefore, we should ignore and consider them indifferent. To be clear, that's not an excuse to behave like an idiot. Stoics also emphasize the importance of acting well and serving the public and humanity as a whole. In Stoicism, we're all part of one human family and share a joint responsibility for each other.
But when acted well, to the best of our knowledge and abilities, we should not be ashamed of our mistakes or failures. Instead, we should welcome them as opportunities for growth and learning. After all, we have no control over what has already happened and no power over other people's thoughts.
Therefore, self-embarrassment exercises are ideal for weakening the fear of what others think of us and nourishing our confidence.
What To Do
The general approach is very straightforward. We take a risk we usually avoid. Then, we draw attention to ourselves and do something slightly conspicuous so that we feel a little ashamed.
Start by creating a list of actions or situations you usually avoid because you feel uncomfortable and fear embarrassment. Write a few sentences about your fear. What's the big deal? Why is the opinion of others so important in this situation?
Feel inside yourself before each practice of embarrassment, and look at your physical and emotional reactions: What apprehensions and feelings do you have? Also, pay attention to yourself during and after the various tasks: Are you trembling or blushing, and does the fear pass? Check how other people react and whether your dire fears have come true. How long do the others look? How noticeable are you?
Ideas:
General ideas:
- Dress unusually.
- Walk barefoot through the shopping mall.
- Go to a Karaoke bar and sing your favorite song.
- Dance like nobody's watching the next time you go to a club.
In a restaurant:
- Leave it after sitting down and taking a look at the menu.
- Change tables two or three times until you find the one with the perfect feng shui.
- Tell the waiter a lousy joke.
In the supermarket:
- Put something in the shopping cart and shortly afterward bring it back.
- Stop at a product for an exceptionally long time and look around, but don't put it in your cart.
- Roll through the checkout with an empty cart.
- Pick a product and ask a stranger to read the contents of the package to you.
Final Thoughts
As you've read the list above, you might have already felt some awkwardness and embarrassment only by thinking about the act of doing one of those. But if you can't do such minor things, how would you act when it comes to more critical decisions or situations? Training and embarrassing yourself in a controlled environment will strengthen your ability to act confidently and true to yourself in all areas of life.
Other people don't care as much about us as we tend to think. Even if we behave awkwardly and slightly out of the norm, no one usually cares that much about it. So, enjoy embarrassing yourself and have fun with this bit of practice.
