6+6 Exercises to Overcome Struggles in Life with Stoicism

Life can be challenging, and sometimes it feels like everything is against you, right? But what if you could use your struggles to get stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to face life's challenges? With the help of Stoicism, you can do just that!

TL;DR

Struggles are part of life, no matter how small or big, but it's up to you to make the best of them! By preparing yourself in advance with Stoic practices such as negative visualization, staying kind and open-minded, or describing them neutrally, you can challenge your struggles for growth. Finally, to remain consistent in your practice, make them your habits.

6 Exercises to Prepare for Struggles

It might sound obvious, but preparation is the first step to learning how to deal with your circumstances when you're off balance. You don't go into the gym the first time and lift heavy weights or go to a dancing class and nail all the pro moves. To do that, you need a lot of training and practice!

Considering struggles as heavy weights or complex dance moves for your mind and soul, why do you assume to handle them without training? The challenge here is not understanding how necessary preparation is; I'm sure you know that. Your (and mine) challenge is to stay consistent with the Stoic training! Many people start practicing, and after a couple of weeks, life and its obligations take over again. Overall, life's good, and the urge to practice fades away. Then, boom, something happens, and they get caught off guard. You've been there, right? Me too.

How to stay consistent? We'll explore that later. For now, let's look at some basic dance moves to prepare ourselves for the big dance battle ahead - the next struggle is waiting around the corner.

1. Negative Visualization (Premediatio Malorum)

"Never say of anything, 'I have lost it'; but, 'I have restored it.'" Epictetus, Enchiridion 11

A powerful Stoic exercise to prepare for worst-case scenarios is called premeditatio malorum (negative visualization). Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and picture anything you fear losing or a situation you would rather not experience.

Here are a few examples of possible adversities:

1. Material goods: Imagine your car is getting broken.
2. Health: Visualize losing your health.
3. Relationships: Contemplate you're losing a loved one, or imagine your partner would cheat on you.
4. Career: Imagine losing your job, or consider what it would be like to fail at a major project.
5. Goals: Visualize failing to achieve a goal that is important to you.

Regarding your chosen object or situation, how does it feel like? How would you respond? What's within your control in this situation? Then take it one step further and imagine how you will handle the situation without becoming frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed. Visualize yourself reacting calmly and virtuously to the circumstance, understanding that some things are beyond your control and that happiness and eudaimonia are not dependent on external circumstances.

Lastly, and most importantly, plan what you can do today or in the near future to prevent that from happening. What is within your control so that your car doesn't get broken, you maintain healthily, become a better partner, and so forth.

With this last step, the exercise gains some additional power. Neglecting it, you'll still shape your mindset and increase your awareness as well as gratitude, but you'll miss an essential opportunity. It's your chance to add the discipline of action and do your best to avoid whatever from happening!

2. Radical Acceptance

"Everything harmonizes with me, which is harmonious to you, O Universe. Nothing for me is too early nor too late, which is in due time for you. Everything is fruit to me which your seasons bring, O Nature: from you are all things, in you are all things, to you all things return." Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.23

Learn to accept what you cannot change; focus on what you can control. Then direct your energy toward actions you can control rather than emotions about things you can't. Do this with the most minor events in your daily life. Did the traffic light switch to red? Great, practice acceptance instead of complaining. Your partner didn't do the dishes? Awesome, practice acceptance and ask what you can do to help instead of blaming them. Your kids didn't do their chores? What a great chance to practice acceptance. 

Whenever you feel resistance against an event or feel unfairly treated, train your acceptance muscle. It doesn't mean you don't take action or resign yourself to your fate. It means recognizing reality for what it is right now, in this moment, without being overwhelmed by emotions.

Your goal is to accept reality without negative judgment or any associated emotional burden and then focus on what needs to be done next.

3. Manage your expectations

"Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well." Epictetus, Enchiridion 8

When bad things happen to others, seeing them as a part of life is easy. Shit happens! But God forbid if something terrible happens to us. Traffic jam. How unfair! You lost your job. Why me? An ugly pimple on the nose, an unfriendly person at the grocery store, or someone who has taken the right of way, whatever it is, shit happens - but not to you!

This kind of reaction comes from unreasonable expectations. Expecting things to go your way all the time is a recipe for disappointment and frustration. Stoics accept reality for what it is without expecting that life should always be good or easy.

Expect something bad to happen every now and then; then, you're better equipped to manage it when it does. The sooner you understand that life doesn't go according to your plan, the easier it will be.

4. Stoic Mindfulness (Prosoche)

"To let one's mind go lax is, in effect, to lose it." Musonius Rufus, Sayings 52

Being mindful means becoming aware of your feelings and sensations. It's about learning to realize upcoming emotions the moment they occur and fight back immediately. Your weapon? Reason!

Mindfulness requires continuous vigilance and a presence of mind. To effectively manage emotions, it is crucial to cultivate a constant awareness of yourself and a constant tension of the spirit. Doing so lets you discern the initial stages of emotions and take timely actions to address them.

When a struggling event hits you, you're immediately aware of your (negative) emotions and ready to tackle them.

5 tips for Practicing Stoic Mindfulness

I won't go into the depth of each, but I encourage you to try different ones to see what's best for you.

1. Meditation: Any meditation, like breathing or body scan meditation, can help.
2. Observance: Consciously observe your thoughts and emotions. You can set a timer to remind yourself of this practice. Or you can do it after every major event (leaving home, entering the office (or school), before and after a meeting (school lesson), etc. Look at how you feel (and why). Try to think of it as an audit - systematically reviewing your day-to-day emotions to become aware of them.
3. Mindful Walking: Instead of walking on autopilot, you can practice mindful walking by bringing your attention to the present moment. Focus on the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the movement of your body, and the environment around you.
4. Journaling: Writing down your observations can help increase mindfulness and self-awareness.
5. Mindful Eating: Pay attention to your food's smell, texture, and taste.

5. Develop a Morning Ritual

"Begin the morning by saying to yourself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them because of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen that the nature of the good is beautful, and that the bad is ugly, and that the nature of he who does wrong is akin to me, not only of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence and the same portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to natrue and it is acting against one another to become frustrated and to turn away." Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 2.1

One of the best ways of preparing yourself for struggles is to develop a morning ritual that puts you in the right mindset. It could be something as simple as a few minutes of meditation or negative visualization. The idea here is that by taking just a few moments each morning, you can give yourself the psychological and emotional preparation you need to face your day confidently, knowing you can and will handle everything you might come across.

6. Get rid of your desires

"Wipe out imagination; check desire: extinguish appetite: keep the ruling faculty in its own power." Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 9.7

This is the last of the preparation exercises. Loosen yourself of your desires, and having a basic knowledge about them can help to cope with struggles.

Dealing with desires is one pillar of Stoicism (the others are action and assent). It's crucial to understand your wants, needs, and cravings and be able to tell them apart.

Naturally, we want what feels good and avoid things that don't. Now, struggles rarely feel good, so we form inner resistance. The essential part here is that struggles won't go away magically! They are a part of life (see also Radical Acceptance and Manage Expectations). Don't wish you would never encounter them; it's simply unrealistic and wishful thinking. Release yourself from the desire to avoid struggles. Instead, change your perspective and use them to improve your character and inner strength. Make it a game, and make it feel good!

I strongly recommend writing your own Stoic mantra to help you remember your attitude. A few powerful words to turn to in moments of stress or despair, and you regain control over yourself.

"Hey struggle, here you are, I already expected you. Try me! I have the strength do endure!"

6 Practices for Immediate Action

Now you are well prepared to encounter any struggle, and suddenly, out of nowhere, it hits you! No matter what kind of struggle it is - a new challenge at work, an argument with somebody, or an unexpected event. You are not surprised but confident to overcome it. So, what now?

1. Kindness

"A virtuous person displays love for his fellow human beings, as well as goodness, justice, kindness, and concern for his neighbor." Musonius Rufus, Lectures 14

First and foremost, stay kind to yourself and others. The situation is what it is, and kindness is the ultimate superpower to keep your peace of mind and remove friction from your circumstance. Don't get frustrated or disappointed when negative emotions arise. Be kind to yourself and everyone else involved. 

Find out more about Stoic kindness practices here.

2. Stay open-minded

"As the nature of the universal has given to every rational being all the other powers that it has, so we have received from it this power also. For as the universal nature converts and fixes in its predestined place everything which stands in the way and opposes it, and makes such things a part of itself, so also the rational animal is able to make every hindrance its own material, and to use it for such purposes as it may have designed." Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.35

When facing struggles, defensiveness is a one-way ticket to sadness, disappointment, or other negative feelings. Try to stay open-minded. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and which virtues you can apply now. Take it with the curious mindset of an adventurer. It's just another obstacle on your way to happiness, and later you can tell others about your exciting journey.

3. Practice Gratitude

"He is a man of sense who does not grieve for what he has not, but rejoices in what he has." Epictetus, Fragments 124

Bringing up positivity will help you stay calm in difficult situations. The Stoics advocated practicing gratitude and being thankful for what you have. Does something try to bring you down? Focus on things you are grateful for. It's like an immune booster again adversities and obstacles and can help to bounce back quickly.

4. Do things you love

Another great ally to overcome struggles - do things you love! Stop ruminating and worrying, but instead, do something you genuinely love. It could be everything from reading a book, drinking a coffee with a friend, visiting a museum, or cooking a delicious meal for your family.

Whatever it is, it will help you to calm down, shift your thoughts to something positive and help release the stress of your struggle.

5. Describe things neutrally

"Consider that everything is opinion, and opinion is in your power. Take away then, when you choose, your opinion, and like a mariner who has rounded the promontory, you will find calm, everything stable, and a waveless bay." Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.22

People tend to be overly focused on the negative when something unexpected happens that they dislike. Immediately everything is terrible and unfair. Stoics believe that we become what we think, so one strategy to take away the power of struggles is not describing or thinking about them as struggles or something evil.

Example 1:

• Negative thinking: This colleague is such an idiot. He's always late and unable to deliver what I need. I always have to waste so much time reworking everything.
• Neutral thinking: This colleague has difficulties delivering what I need in time. I have to rework a lot of things.

Example 2:

• Negative thinking: I lost my job; that's horrible. I'll never find such a job again. How should I now pay the bills? It's a disaster!
• Neutral thinking: I lost my job. This is a challenge I have to face now.

By changing the language, you can take some of the drama out of your struggles and become aware that it's just another thing that needs your attention. Negative thinking leads to stress and passiveness, whereas neutral thinking helps to reduce the emotional burden and leads to proper judgments. As a consequence, you can focus on taking action instead of worrying.

6. Take action

After you've described the event neutrally, focus on what you can do to overcome it. Make a plan, a checklist, or call someone and ask for help. You're only the victim of your circumstances when you stay passive and inactive. By taking action, you gain back control over the situation and increase your self-confidence in handling it.

Great! Now it's on you to put those things into practice and grow stronger with each struggle. Already looking forward to it? Yeah, that's the spirit of a Stoic! You can do this. But as mentioned above, the real challenge is staying consistent with your Stoicism practice. As promised, let's move on to my last tip.

How to stay consistent?

"Nothing is in reality either pleasant or unpleasant by nature; but all things become such through habit." Epictetus, Fragments 7

Shape your identity and make it a habit!

Habits are one of the best ways to foster beneficial behavior. Creating and maintaining habits is a huge topic; covering it all would be too much for this article so I will give you a short version.

1. Lower the activation energy: Start small and make it easy. It'll become likelier to change your behavior (in this case, implement techniques for dealing with struggles) when the activation energy is low.
2. Fuel the engine: Make it feel good and reward yourself after each successful completion. As BJ Fogg writes in his excellent book "Tiny Habits": "Emotions create habits. Not repetition. Not frequency. Not fairy dust." If it feels good, you want more of it. Celebrate every success, no matter how small.
3. Keep your intention in mind: When you don't feel motivated to perform an exercise, remember why you initially wanted to do it. To grow stronger and become more resilient! You want to lift the heavyweights of life's struggles, so don't skip. It's your life and your responsibility.
4. Set a precise time: As every dancing class or course in a gym has a specific time it begins, you should do the same with your Stoic training. An exact time increases awareness and makes it more likely to happen.

I hope you enjoyed reading and found some ideas to overcome your struggle. Good luck, my fellow friend of Stoicism!

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