Adultism: A Stoic perspective

When I was young, I often had the feeling of having no control and being at the mercy of my parents or other adults. "You are too young. You can't understand this. You can decide this or that as soon as you are of legal age." Sounds familiar? Have you ever felt overwhelmed, overruled, or patronized by adults when you were young too? Good, keep this feeling in mind while you're reading.

A note to the younger readers, this blog post is written for the older generations, as I assume the need to change their way of thinking and their behavior is more critical when it comes to adultism. Nevertheless, I'm interested in your experiences and opinions - please get in touch if you want to share them.

TL;DR

• Adultism is a form of discrimination based on age, where adults hold power and control over young people.
• Adultism is contrary to the Stoic virtues.
• Stoicism can be used as an effective way to respond to adultism by practicing temperance and courage, leading to just and wise behavior.

What is adultism?

According to Merriam-Webster, adultism refers to prejudice or discrimination against young people as a group. It shouldn't be confused with ageism, which is the prejudice or discrimination against a particular age group. This might sound a little strange for one or the other, but there's a difference for the younger generations, and in fact, they are not the same.

Adultism is about the imbalance of power between adults and children or teenagers. Adults assume that adolescents have to do what they say and follow their guidance, behavior, and rules because adults are more knowledgeable, wiser, and simply better due to greater life experience. Therefore, they are entitled to act upon children and expect younger people to acknowledge that adults know better. This is rooted in the belief that younger generations have a defect of judgment and can't make good decisions.

Have you ever thought similarly? Can you see such an attitude in your behavior? If yes, don't feel blamed because recognizing is the perfect start for reflection and a little bit of Stoic brain work.

A Stoic Perspective on adultism

To get to a Stoic perspective, I'd like to assess and question this topic concerning the Stoic virtues. I won't give detailed answers to those questions; that's up to you and is part of your Stoic journey.

Whenever we encounter something, an event, or a concept, that has to do with others, I recommend starting with the virtue of justice. This helps to put us in the shoes of others and gain a broader perspective. Let's start with some questions.

• Is it just to discriminate against younger people because of their age or life experience?
• Is it just to make laws, rules, and decisions but to leave the consequences to others?
• Is it fair that only you can decide where to go on your family's vacation, or would it be appropriate to ask for your children's wishes and take them into account?
• Is it just to deny children the right to make their own decisions?

Please think a few minutes about it and then move on to the virtue of wisdom.

• Would a wise person ignore others' perspectives and ideas?
• Is it wise to believe you're better or smarter than others because of your age?
• Is it wise to ignore others' voices, worries, and ideas and simply label them as stupid or unrealistic? Or is it wise to counter them with reason if you disagree?
• How do you feel when someone says your ideas are stupid just because you're lower in your company's hierarchy? Would you count such behavior as wise?
• Why do adults often label some ideas as stupid or unrealistic, especially those from children? Because we as adults believe that? Do we really know everything? 

From my point of view, the answers are crystal-clear, and our quick check hasn't passed the virtues of justice and wisdom. Adultism is contrary to them and can become the breeding ground for ignorance when not handled with reason. Furthermore, it comes with the great danger of making children feel worthless and helpless while fueling resentment against our decisions.

Adultism, an example

Once upon a time, there was a young girl from Sweden. She was miserable and not satisfied with the climate politics of her country, so she started an activism group called Fridays for Future (or School Strike for Climate). Later it became a worldwide movement of young people demonstrating to prevent climate change and demanding action from politicians by skipping Friday classes.

But many critics said she's too young to understand the whole picture, that we're already doing enough, and that this movement is proclaiming civil disobedience. In some countries, children have been punished or arrested for striking or demonstrating. The message: Be good, go to school, and don't go on our nerves with this climate change issue. We adults are already addressing it, and you can enjoy the school lessons we prepared for you (a long, long time ago).

That's the story and adultism at a glimpse, and I think you get the point.

How can you use Stoicism to respond to adultism?

So far, we have covered two out of four Stoic virtues. Let's check if we can find a proper Stoic response to adultism and explore how we can use temperance and courage to do so.

The virtue of temperance can help us to maintain control over our thoughts and actions. When dealing with adolescents and their opinions, especially when they differ from ours, temperance can help us tame our temper and question our initial impressions. Furthermore, temperance can help us to slow down and to ensure that our response, and the actions we take, are fair, just, and without prejudice.

Courage is needed to give some power to the hand of younger people. That can be frightening because it can make us feel uncomfortable or insecure. An excellent Stoic response would be to take a deep breath, smile, and embrace our fate, knowing that we've done something virtuous, totally aligned with our social nature. We also need courage to stand up for what is right, take the opinions and worries of children seriously, and are willing to fight together for their interest and against this injustice toward children - no matter how uncomfortable or challenging it may be.

Are you ready to close the generation gap and fight adultism?

Now it's your turn. Are you courageous enough to step back and allow children or teens to make decisions? Are you willing to practice temperance and restraint in your own power and let children go first? Are you ready to act with wisdom and justice and apply Stoicism in your life?

I believe that we can counter adultism with Stoicism. As Stoics, we have to because it is against our virtues. We should let them participate in discussions about the big problems of our times and, more than that, in discussions about their future, not ours. The needs of the younger generations have to be taken into consideration. By doing so, we can do our modest part to close the generation gap - at least a little bit. We can also do that with little actions as parents and help our children to build confidence in making their own decisions. Not everything of importance has to happen on the big political stage. Our small and daily actions matter too.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? I'm curious to hear your opinions, so please get in touch either way.